One of the top questions that I get asked from friends, strangers, acquaintances is “How do you do it all?”. So I wanted to take some time here to address this question and my response. The short answer, is “I don’t.” A little background for those that don’t know me. I am a healthcare IT consultant by day, a blogger from mid-afternoon and in the evenings, and a wife and mom all the time. I’ve heard all sorts of things said to me like “I don’t know how you do it all.”, “You are superwoman”, “You are supermom.”. But honestly, when I get asked that question, I get slightly embarrassed, because I really don’t do it all, not all aspects of my life are perfect, but I just love keeping busy.
I’m NOT doing anymore than the next person out there. We are all busy. We all have our schedules, our responsibilities, our much needed relaxation time.
Motherhood is about living and making sacrifices for your children. There’s no sleeping in. The kids need to be fed. You have to make sure their needs are met, even if you are grumpy or tired. They will want to be held, when you’re in the middle of cooking on the stove. They will want you to play with them, when you’ve got the urge to go pee. They will get you so exhausted, but at the end of the day, reading them their bedtime stories, getting those kisses, it’s all worth it. And although you may feel like you’ve messed up or feel bad for constantly saying no, you’re a mom, you’re the best mom for your kids and there’s love that holds you together.
Being a working mom (myself), there’s that 40 hour a week job that is what helps provide for my family. It provides savings for the kid’s college education, it provides cute clothes, a nice house. Sure, there’s lots of stress, some travel, and time away from my kids that comes with it, but it’s also time to enrich myself and have adult interactions. I used to bring a lot of work home with me, but I’ve tried not to do that as much since having kids. And to all the stay at home moms, I praise you, I think what you are doing is so amazing, and I don’t know HOW you do it.
And then having hobbies that either grow yourself, provide “me’ time or are fun, are always important too. To me, that’s my blog. And I hustle, I write, I take pictures, I work a lot on my blog but I love this creative outlet for myself. I love sharing fashion tips for others, I love helping new bloggers start their own blogs, I love interacting with others in a fun capacity. Running a blog takes a lot of time, but it truly fills the rest of my time. I don’t know how to be bored, and I don’t like being bored.
I’m busy, yes that’s a fact. But I love being busy. I love running around and scheduling way too many things. I’m horrible at saying “no” to people and really need to be better about it, I prioritize things and remind myself of things on a calendar on my phone. I stay up late, very late. I don’t sleep much. Our house is probably way messier than 75% of people’s houses. I outsource work. I delegate tasks. I have the most supportive husband who is better at watching the kids alone than I am. He also does most of the cooking at our house and I’m so grateful for that. But we don’t have many date nights, we don’t use babysitters often although I think we should more! I wish I could focus on my health and fitness more. I work out a couple times a week, but I know as I get older, it will be more important to do it more often.
So “How do I do it all?”, You see, I don’t. There’s always more that can be done.
Perhaps I seem to do a few things very well, but other things are lacking. And I truly believe that no one can do it all, we just do our best. We prioritize and pick our top 3. Whether it’s doing things to survive, to make money, to keep us happy… we just take it a minute, an hour, a day, a week, a month at a time. We tackle what we can and try to plan for the future. But if you were coming here to get some tips and tricks from me… I’ll give you my top 3. 🙂
- Prioritize, multi-task, and figure out your schedule. – Making sure that you are making the best use of your time is key. You might have a planner or keep track of daily tasks on your phone, you might wake up before your kids do or stay our late, or you make cleaning up your house a game for your kids… you do what works for you. Making sure you focus on things that require deadlines first or have an upcoming deadline and take one task at a time.
- Delegate, outsource, get help!! – Whether that’s getting a babysitter for your kids so you can go on that date night, or if it’s getting someone to help you with social media for your blog, or hiring a house cleaner… don’t be afraid to ask for or pay for help. It can save your sanity in the end!
- Let go of the idea of being perfect and needing to do it all, just do your best, and best is enough. – Nobody’s perfect, and if we let go of the mindset of trying to be perfect and achieve it all, you will likely find yourself much happier and satisfied with life.
Photography by Summer Nicole Photo
So when you ask that question to me or to others, I really hope you are not comparing yourself or thinking that you aren’t adequate enough. Because it makes me feel bad if that’s the case. You are amazing, and you are doing enough. We may never “do it all”, but that’s like striving for perfection, which is never a reality. If we do our best, that’s perfectly enough, and that’s the closest to “doing it all” we’ll get.