Thoughts On Having A Third Child

When it came to having a family, Marvin and I never really discussed a set number. It was 2 or 3, we’d see how things go. Once we had Austin, I knew so badly that I wanted a girl too. If we had two boys, then maybe we would try for another girl. If we had 3 boys… well then, we certainly probably would not have tried again, ha! But here we are with a boy and a girl… now what next?


The thought of having a third child has been weighing heavily on my mind lately (I’ll let you know Marvin’s thoughts later), especially because if we are going to have another, this would be a good time to do it. Vivian is just leaving the diaper stage so we’d be able to stay in the diaper stage and just go through it one more time.

Let me back up a little, I’m one of those mamas who most other pregnant woman hate because I LOVED my pregnancies. We were also fortunate enough to get pregnant within the first few months of trying as well. So so fortunate. I was fortunate enough to not get sick with either, never threw up. I loved tracking my belly’s growth and although I probably shouldn’t have done it, I used “eating for two” as an excuse to eat the things I wanted. People were so friendly and nice to me, as they generally are with pregnant women! The worst part of pregnancy for me was the last trimester, not being able to fit into my normal clothes and shoes, the constant pain in my hips, always having to pee and never being able to get a good night’s sleep.

Both of my labors were induced with epidural so were generally pretty expected and pleasant as well. Breastfeeding was HARD with Austin, but got easier with Vivian.

I miss the newborn stage. I miss the sweet smell of a baby’s head. I miss seeing them so drunk on milk that they would smile. I miss the 9 month old age (my favorite). I miss the time when all that was important in life was how their poo looked. I miss cuddling and more cuddling. I miss how tiny their feet are. I miss capturing their monthly milestones and growth by taking way too many pictures.








My outfit details:

Top c/o Evereve | Pants c/o Evereve | Shoes: Nordstrom | Sunglasses: Nordstrom | Bag: Red Dress Boutique | Necklace: Target

Kids Customized Denim Jackets c/o Scout & Indiana

But, right now we also have it good, REALLY GOOD. We have our boyand a girl, just like we wanted. We AREN’T outnumbered. We have a really good handle on how to do our daily routines. Austin’s anxiety has calmed because of Vivian. He helps her, she helps him. They play well together (and fight occasionally). Traveling with the two of them has gotten way easier and they love it. Our minivan is the perfect setup of car seats and the back being used as my dressing room for photo shoots. I hear that going from 2 to 3 kids is one of the hardest transitions.

With our jobs and this blog, we are busy, and already feeling like we don’t spend enough time with our kids. I like to go out with my friends or to events and want to have more date nights with Marvin, and get mom guilt over being a little selfish at times. Our finances and budgeting are not the best, but how would they be with a third? We can barely keep our house clean… how will we keep sane with another?

I will say this though, living in Utah with 2 kids can be hard. Most of the families and my friends out there have 3-6 kids, extended families that are close, and the holidays are HARD, REALLY HARD for us. We don’t have any other family that lives near us and seeing all the big family gatherings (either around or on social media) sometimes makes me wish that we had that or that my kids would have that. To me, more than having a big house or all the clothes in the world, I sometimes envy the lifestyle of those with bigger families. The support, the love, and how fun it looks to have such a big family makes me want to have more kids for their sake.

But alas, Marvin will pretty much say he is done having kids. I’m still on the fence but as time goes on, the window definitely seems to be closing on that chapter in our lives.

How many kids do you have (or do you want)? How did you know when you were done having kids?

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*I was compensated by Evereve with a gift card, all thoughts and opinions expressed are 100% my own.

7 Comments

  1. Jennifer
    May 13, 2018 / 10:56 am

    I’m just going to jump right in with my opinion. Going from 2 to 3 was NOT harder than my first or from one baby to two. My older two kids are 20 months apart and that was HARD. My oldest was still in diapers and basically just a larger baby. My 3rd was born last November, so I currently have a 4 yr old, 2 (almost 3) yr old and a 6 month old. My youngest baby has been my easiest, go with the flow little gal and I totally have the baby stage down! 💁‍♀️ My older two have each other to play with and for the most part play well. I struggled for a long time the decision to have a 3rd because I had the one girl/one boy perfect little family that fit perfectly in our smaller SUV and we had our routine down pat. But now that I have my littlest I CANT EVEN IMAGINE life without her. Her bigs are so sweet with her and to have seen them be old enough to understand when I was pregnant and all the love they showed her as a newborn was special and not something I experienced when I was pregnant with my 2nd. I love having 3. So much so that we might just have to add a 4th!!!!

    • Cindy
      May 14, 2018 / 8:47 am

      I love your reply. My first two are 20 months apart too and that was beyond hard. My older child is 3.5 years old and hot mess doesn’t begin to cover it. Luckily, my almost 2yr old is awesomely laid back, giggles all the time, and tolerates all the craziness from his big sister. Baby #3 is due in September and I am beyond terrified of the transition to being outnumbered and how it will affect our lives! My husband is already talking about #4, giving me extra anxiety. But every one I talk to who was on the fence about the third tells me they are wildly in love with their chaos and so hopefully, it will be good.

  2. LEslie
    May 13, 2018 / 11:36 am

    I will only say what my husband says “ you only regret the kids you don’t have not the ones you have”! We have three kids!

  3. HOpe
    May 13, 2018 / 12:26 pm

    I have a girl and a boy too and tried to have a third one at 35 years old when my youngest was two. Don’t know what happened but we couldn’t get pregnant anymore although we didn’t have problems with the 2 pregnancies. Failed fertility attempt, tests and emotional roller coaster later we stopped attempting and embraced what God gave us. Now turning 40, had I known maybe that I couldn’t have babies as early as 35, I would have tried earlier to have more. Life is too short to wait for the perfect timing of things. If you feel you want a third one then go for it. Your kids would be delighted to have a sibling. I know my kids would. Happy mother’s day Mama❤️

  4. Monica
    May 13, 2018 / 12:37 pm

    I have 2 kids-16 (boy) and 9(girl). I’m 42. I don’t regret not having a 3rd because my kids were 7 years apart so I felt that I fully enjoyed infant/toddler/preschool stage for a long time with each. I knew I had no patience for 2 little ones at once. Once my daughter started kindergarten I was just relieved. Sure, I miss the baby/toddler stage but it’s still fresh enough in my mind to remind me what i DON’T miss!

  5. Amy
    May 13, 2018 / 1:24 pm

    I have only one child, but never wanted an only child, as we each come from a family of 4. I only wanted even numbers if I had kids… 0 or 2 only. If we had a baby anytime soon, theyd be at least 4 yrs apart by that time… which is a little more of an age gap than I’d want, but not a big enough gap to be a problem. My husband is set w/ only one child. I would love a sibling for her though & I know she’d be a great sister. We’ll see what happens- it’s so much more stressful for woman to consider all these thoughts compared to men, because their bodies don’t have to go thru it, & they don’t hear a biological clock ticking like we do! I think it’d be a great addition to your family if you guys decided to have another, and you’d have perfect age children to be big brother & sister!

  6. Natasha
    May 14, 2018 / 8:39 am

    I totally agree with the comment above about “you only regret the children you don’t have not the ones you have.” I have 3 kids spaced far apart. I had my first at a young age but I would never change anything. I have a girl (20), and 2 boys 10 and 5 y/o. I thought I was done and my husband even got a vasectomy but now I wish I had one more. The transition was a little different for me since my oldest is older. Things always have a way of working themselves out and you just do it. You are still young. I’m sure you’re children would love a sibling to play with.

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