My response to “How do you do it all?”

Mommy and me Fall fashion

One of the top questions that I get asked from friends, strangers, acquaintances is “How do you do it all?”. So I wanted to take some time here to address this question and my response. The short answer, is “I don’t.” A little background for those that don’t know me. I am a healthcare IT consultant by day, a blogger from mid-afternoon and in the evenings, and a wife and mom all the time. I’ve heard all sorts of things said to me like “I don’t know how you do it all.”, “You are superwoman”, “You are supermom.”. But honestly, when I get asked that question, I get slightly embarrassed, because I really don’t do it all, not all aspects of my life are perfect, but I just love keeping busy. 

I’m NOT doing anymore than the next person out there. We are all busy. We all have our schedules, our responsibilities, our much needed relaxation time. 

Vintage style for moms and babies Mom and daughter photos

Motherhood is about living and making sacrifices for your children. There’s no sleeping in. The kids need to be fed. You have to make sure their needs are met, even if you are grumpy or tired. They will want to be held, when you’re in the middle of cooking on the stove. They will want you to play with them, when you’ve got the urge to go pee. They will get you so exhausted, but at the end of the day, reading them their bedtime stories, getting those kisses, it’s all worth it. And although you may feel like you’ve messed up or feel bad for constantly saying no, you’re a mom, you’re the best mom for your kids and there’s love that holds you together.

Being a working mom (myself), there’s that 40 hour a week job that is what helps provide for my family. It provides savings for the kid’s college education, it provides cute clothes, a nice house. Sure, there’s lots of stress, some travel, and time away from my kids that comes with it, but it’s also time to enrich myself and have adult interactions. I used to bring a lot of work home with me, but I’ve tried not to do that as much since having kids. And to all the stay at home moms, I praise you, I think what you are doing is so amazing, and I don’t know HOW you do it. 

And then having hobbies that either grow yourself, provide “me’ time or are fun, are always important too. To me, that’s my blog. And I hustle, I write, I take pictures, I work a lot on my blog but I love this creative outlet for myself. I love sharing fashion tips for others, I love helping new bloggers start their own blogs, I love interacting with others in a fun capacity. Running a blog takes a lot of time, but it truly fills the rest of my time. I don’t know how to be bored, and I don’t like being bored.

Cents of Style Gypsy Soul Flared floral pants Toddler girl style

Toddler girl fashion Mommy and me style for the woods

I’m busy, yes that’s a fact. But I love being busy. I love running around and scheduling way too many things. I’m horrible at saying “no” to people and really need to be better about it, I prioritize things and remind myself of things on a calendar on my phone. I stay up late, very late. I don’t sleep much. Our house is probably way messier than 75% of people’s houses. I outsource work. I delegate tasks. I have the most supportive husband who is better at watching the kids alone than I am. He also does most of the cooking at our house and I’m so grateful for that. But we don’t have many date nights, we don’t use babysitters often although I think we should more! I wish I could focus on my health and fitness more. I work out a couple times a week, but I know as I get older, it will be more important to do it more often.

So “How do I do it all?”, You see, I don’t. There’s always more that can be done.

Perhaps I seem to do a few things very well, but other things are lacking. And I truly believe that no one can do it all, we just do our best. We prioritize and pick our top 3. Whether it’s doing things to survive, to make money, to keep us happy… we just take it a minute, an hour, a day, a week, a month at a time. We tackle what we can and try to plan for the future. But if you were coming here to get some tips and tricks from me… I’ll give you my top 3. 🙂

  1. Prioritize, multi-task, and figure out your schedule. – Making sure that you are making the best use of your time is key. You might have a planner or keep track of daily tasks on your phone, you might wake up before your kids do or stay our late, or you make cleaning up your house a game for your kids… you do what works for you. Making sure you focus on things that require deadlines first or have an upcoming deadline and take one task at a time.
  2. Delegate, outsource, get help!! – Whether that’s getting a babysitter for your kids so you can go on that date night, or if it’s getting someone to help you with social media for your blog, or hiring a house cleaner… don’t be afraid to ask for or pay for help. It can save your sanity in the end!
  3. Let go of the idea of being perfect and needing to do it all, just do your best, and best is enough. – Nobody’s perfect, and if we let go of the mindset of trying to be perfect and achieve it all, you will likely find yourself much happier and satisfied with life.

Utah fashion bloger Mommy and me fashion

Outfit Details:

My outfit: 

Top c/o Cents of Style
Pants c/o Cents of Style
Shoes: Target

Vivian’s outfit:

Top: Target
Skirt c/o Nora Madison Designs
Shoes: Joyfolie
Necklace: Wild Sunshine Threads
Hair clip: Run Wild Kids

Photography by Summer Nicole Photo

A mom's response to "How do you do it all?"

So when you ask that question to me or to others, I really hope you are not comparing yourself or thinking that you aren’t adequate enough. Because it makes me feel bad if that’s the case. You are amazing, and you are doing enough. We may never “do it all”, but that’s like striving for perfection, which is never a reality. If we do our best, that’s perfectly enough, and that’s the closest to “doing it all” we’ll get.

50 Comments

  1. August 29, 2016 / 5:26 am

    You’re doing an amazing job Sandy. I love keeping bust as well 🙂 Can we talk about how amazing her gladiator sandals are !!?? So cute!
    xo
    Lee Anne
    http://lifebylee.com/

  2. August 29, 2016 / 6:01 am

    I think that is some great advice, especially #3! Your daughter’s outfit is so cute, I want it in my size!

    Karen
    http://LadyinViolet.com

  3. August 29, 2016 / 6:19 am

    I can relate to a lot of this…. I just became a stay at home mom though a couple of months ago… It’s amazing how us moms find time for our kids, our home, our husbands and ourselves. I agree that I just like to keep busy 🙂

  4. Nina - the hss feed
    August 29, 2016 / 6:23 am

    Oh girl I can totally relate. I love your perspective and it’s so important to just be your personal best and do the best you can every day.

    xx Nina

  5. August 29, 2016 / 7:50 am

    sandy this post is amazing! you really are amazing and you do such an amazing job! <3

  6. August 29, 2016 / 12:56 pm

    I’d cut out coffee before I cut out bimonthly housekeeping. 😂😂😂. I love this post. I like to keep busy as well. Your pants are fabulous btw. Keep up the hard work.
    Rachel http://www.pinterestingplans.com

  7. August 29, 2016 / 1:26 pm

    Number two is clutch! Big supporter of outsourcing when you can!

  8. August 29, 2016 / 1:53 pm

    I definitely need to be better about asking for help. I typically just shoulder all the burden and end up getting burned out!

    Fizz and Frosting

  9. August 29, 2016 / 3:03 pm

    Love this post Sandy! Your daughter is absolutely adorable!

  10. August 29, 2016 / 3:32 pm

    Whoever said mothers had to be perfect was never a mother herself. It’s the hardest job there is. when your kids grow into adults you finally get to see all the hard work you out into them. It’s an awesome pay off.

  11. August 29, 2016 / 4:20 pm

    Loved this post!! It’s so hard to balance it all, and I’m fascinated to see how other bloggers, and moms are keeping up!

  12. August 29, 2016 / 7:20 pm

    These pics are adorable! You are such a good mom 🙂

  13. August 29, 2016 / 8:36 pm

    Lovely pics! Looks like such a cute and perfect energy between mother and daughter

  14. August 29, 2016 / 8:43 pm

    I get asked this question ALL of the time. The truth is…. I am not doing it ALL, just what things are most important.

  15. August 29, 2016 / 8:53 pm

    Great post, Sandy! And awesome response to that crazy question! Balance is something that I struggle with. Working full-time, commuting, and blogging fills my plate so I really can’t even imagine how mother’s do it all. Great tips, though! Life is tough no matter what you’ve got going on so this is totally relatable to anyone!

    Christie
    The Closet by Christie

  16. August 29, 2016 / 10:03 pm

    I think the opposite of working moms. I applauded you for working and taking care of the kids as they are both tough jobs.

  17. August 29, 2016 / 11:53 pm

    I dont relate to this but I have to say it is inspiring

  18. Karlyn Cruz
    August 30, 2016 / 2:12 am

    Working while taking caring of the kids is a super power. I am so glad that I was able to do both.

  19. August 30, 2016 / 3:40 am

    I’m in love of this post. It is so cute! Thank you.

  20. August 30, 2016 / 6:22 am

    It definitely requires some planning and organization, but it sounds like you’ve nailed it. I love the gladiator sandals and skirt on your little!

  21. Elizabeth O.
    August 30, 2016 / 7:39 am

    This is very well said. We have to keep moving, that’s what living is all about and that’s also what being a mom is all about. I love what you said for number 3. It’s true, we just have to give it our best and that will always be enough.

  22. August 30, 2016 / 8:34 am

    I’m with you. I hate being bored, but I know there’s always something to do. And I’ve often said there’s not enough hours in the day, but like you said in #3, if you do your best you’ve done enough! Great post!

  23. Angelle Marix
    August 30, 2016 / 8:58 am

    Loved this post!!!! It is definitely harder being a blogger while being a mom. I agree that prioritizing our time is huge, but it’s so doable. You are definitely an inspiration to so many!!

    Xoxo,
    Angelle
    http://www.dashingdarlin.com

  24. August 30, 2016 / 9:42 am

    Thanks for shedding light on this. I like that you pay homage to stay-at-home Moms. Sometimes I read articles that suggest stay-at-home moms are better than working moms or vice versa and it’s like WTF? There’s a strength to both and everyone’s priorities are different. I love that you emphasize that you actually don’t do it all and that you are not perfect. It’s all about getting a rhythm that works for you. You rock, Sandy!

    http://www.dressupchowdown.com

  25. Kendra
    August 30, 2016 / 10:00 am

    Definitely need to prioritize! I have emails from over a month ago that I should follow up on, but they are low on the priority list.

  26. August 30, 2016 / 2:21 pm

    Such an inspiring and enlightening post. Thanks for sharing your wisdom!

  27. August 30, 2016 / 3:59 pm

    I can relate to your busy lifestyle. Sometimes it gets so overwhelming, but we always manage somehow. I wonder myself how I keep it all together. Nice post…I need to delegate much more 😉

  28. August 30, 2016 / 6:07 pm

    Yes outsource what you can! Also how cute are you and your daughter. So stylish!

  29. August 30, 2016 / 8:48 pm

    My answer is the same as yours. I don’t get it all done. I never have.

  30. victoria
    August 31, 2016 / 4:25 am

    This is really a cute post. I’m so glad that you share this with us

  31. August 31, 2016 / 6:33 am

    This post is wonderful! Learning a lot form you! Anyway, I still think you are a super…

  32. Rosey
    August 31, 2016 / 7:10 am

    Blogging is a lot of work but it’s fun. And hurrah for the hustle! 🙂 The pics are great!

  33. August 31, 2016 / 8:15 am

    Outsourcing is what saves my butt half the time! I’m glad to have a team of awesome people that help me do my thing! 😀

  34. Katarzyna
    August 31, 2016 / 8:33 am

    Asking for help is particularly hard for me, but it’s really needed sometimes 🙂 You’re doing a great job and the pictures are lovely!

  35. Michelle Blackwood
    August 31, 2016 / 5:52 pm

    You both look so cute, motherhood is the greatest job ever!

  36. August 31, 2016 / 6:02 pm

    We all do what we can, for some it’s more then others. I love the pictures. You both look amazing!

  37. August 31, 2016 / 8:53 pm

    Your post definitely resonates with me! As a Mom of 3 beautiful daughters, I’m busy. I don’t and can’t do it all, but like you said, “Motherhood is about living and making sacrifices for your children”. I am proud to do it!

  38. August 31, 2016 / 8:56 pm

    Love your piece of advice. Specially the fact that we need to stop try to be perfect

  39. Kathy
    August 31, 2016 / 9:14 pm

    I have to say that these outfits are so cute! I love them! I do think that it can be hard getting to spend some time with others when you’re blogging. Blogging takes up a lot of my time, but I always find time to do something with my girls too.

  40. August 31, 2016 / 9:16 pm

    I can so relate to this!! I’m constantly telling people that just because my pics on social media look perfect, my life and me being a mom in general really isn’t!

  41. September 1, 2016 / 3:45 am

    Wow your daughter is adorable! Love the photos, very well lit and angled.
    haha yes people always see the success and not the hard work behind it all but do we really want them to? it’s your personal battle towards achieving your dream lifestyle, it’s got nothing to do with them. whether they are positive or negative about your journey… If they want to compliment you, great, be humble and move on.

  42. September 2, 2016 / 1:57 pm

    I don’t! It’s so hard to live up to people’s expectations! Loved your post!

  43. kathy kenny ngo
    September 3, 2016 / 12:42 am

    I love your article. Mommy/Fashion blogger. Simply amazing. Thank you for sharing.

  44. September 6, 2016 / 7:01 am

    Love this! I have 4 kids and I see alot of truth in this post. I need to get better about spending more quality time with my husband (date nights are almost existent) and I need to get better about delegating in general. Great post!
    Rachel xo
    http://www.garaytreasures.com

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